It's Friday night. I'm blogging in bed with a big ol' glass of wine while the baby is asleep next to me and the "boys" (Daddy and L) are downstairs in a full-size tent in our living room having movie-night.
It's quiet. It's peaceful. It's perfect.
But I have to admit, that I'm a little depressed as this night winds down. Once this weekend is over, it's back-to-work-I-go, and that officially means that this summer (and my maternity leave) is official done-zo.
Yes, I know. I work from home. I'm extremely lucky to be able to do that, and have so far managed for a full two years with my firstborn who started crawling on my first day on the job and is now wreaking all over the house... But working from home brings so much anxiety and stress for me that I am absolutely terrified for what is to come on Monday morning.
I'll admit that yes, I am quick to be a Negative Nancy and point out all the cons about what I expect to be hot mess of a day working from home with two children. I feel like I'm still adjusting to LIFE with two at home:
Survive on 4-5 hours of sleep. Get up. Get dressed. Feed people. Get people dressed. Play. Kiss boo-boos. Read books. Be active. Keep people happy. Keep yourself happy. Feed people again. And again. And again. And again. Maintain sanity.
It is, without a freakin' doubt, a job in itself. The hours are long and trying. Your mental stability is tested every single hour of every single day. Sometimes days pass where you don't quite feel appreciated. But the funny thing about it is, it is worth all the madness. The roller-coaster of emotions. The uncertainties. The triumphs. The pitfalls. It's so freakin' hard, but it's worth it.
Which is why, I suppose, people keep having kids. Because what's more crazy than one? Two! And... okay, we're not there yet so let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm still writing about how I'm pulling my hair out with a baby and a three-year old...
The point is...I will try, probably by the end of this glass of wine, to focus on the positives: still being home with my two loves while they are little, trying to support my family financially as best I can, being a decent mother who keeps her kids clothed, fed, and happy, and a wife who still has love and happiness left to show at the end of a crazy day.
I will try...that's all we can do, right?