Lessons in Motherhood I Learned from My Mama

Saturday, May 16, 2015

I wouldn't have been able to do this whole mommy thing without my own mama showing me the ropes. She's brave, she's strong, she's compassionate and wise. I'm so thankful for everything she's done for me in all phases of my life: my childhood, my adulthood, and now, motherhood.

And because Mother's Day this year just didn't do her justice, this post is dedicated to her.

Here are the lessons in Motherhood I learned from my Mama:

1.  Be Strong.

There will often be times that you have to stand up for yourself, for your children and for your family. Stand your ground. Don't let anybody push you around or intimidate you. Only you know what's best for your family.

There will also be times where you think you've been through hell and back. Motherhood has its challenges from the very start. Don't let it get the best of you. Be strong and you'll pull through. Be strong for yourself and for your family.

2. Don't apologize. 
Don't apologize for your screaming kid who is hungry, tired, bored (or all three) in the middle of a restaurant or store. Don't apologize for looking like shit or feeling like shit. Don't apologize for being late or missing an event. Don't apologize for not being completely present. Don't apologize for your off-the-wall, bizarre parenting tactics.

There's nothing to be sorry about. Motherhood is a constant state of survival mode; you don't need to apologize for that.
3. Be Your Own Kind of Mom
Through trial-and-error, figure out what kind of mom YOU want to be. So your friends are the baby-wearing, cloth-diapering, breastfeeding kind? And you aren't? Who cares. There should be no judgment, no pressure. The only person that matters is your baby. Be there for them in the way THEY need you. If it doesn't work for the both of you, try something else. In the end, all that matters is that you are a mom that is loving, understanding, and nurturing.  (I wish I had caught on to this from the very beginning, but it is just now that I fully understand and embrace it).

4.  Let Them Be
Let your children figure out how things work, get messy, fall down and brush themselves off again. That's how we prepare ourselves for life right? It's messy, sometimes it hurts, and nobody can tell us the right or wrong way to do things.

Let them make mistakes, let them feel emotions, let them figure out their own path. Just let them be. They will learn on their own with your guidance, and you both will be stronger and smarter because of it.

5. Just Love
There will undoubtedly be some really tough moments in parenthood. At the end of the day, just love. Look to your family for support. Cry, because you're allowed to do that. Cry hard and then put yourself back together and love yourself and your family.

Not every single moment will be joyful and magical. In those in-between moments, love your children and your family the most. Experience tough times with them and you will truly appreciate the greater (laughing, smiling and happy) times with them later. Just love.

I love you mama. I hope to be as strong and brave as you, and to be a great mother to Lucca just as you have been an amazing mother to me. Happy Mother's Day.

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